00447843 494832 ruth@ruthshelley.com

All Testimonies

Man, 26

“I decided to see Ruth to get some help working through a number of small issues in my personal and professional life. From our first session I felt a confidence that Ruth knew how she could help me.

I always feel comfortable in our sessions and come out with a renewed idea of how to achieve my goals. After 6-7 sessions or so I had tapered my frequency down to once a month and I am feeling the benefits and was able to stop.

As a young male, I felt there was a stigma around seeking help, but now I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend it to anyone”

Woman, 32

“I have found working with Ruth to be a really valuable experience; she provides a very non-judgmental space to explore and reflect on feelings and ideas as well as past and present events in my life.

I particularly appreciated the range of approaches she took with me – for example, considering practical methods of dealing with specific situations as well as exploring why I found them challenging. Sessions feel comfortable and well-structured, and I am very grateful for all the help that Ruth has provided.”

Woman, 45

“I saw Ruth for weekly therapy for almost a year. This was my first experience of psychotherapy and I found it to be an extremely positive experience.

I found that Ruth’s supportive yet gently challenging style really helped me improve my understanding of some of the difficulties I had been having in my relationships and in gaining insights into ways of moving forwards towards communicating more assertively and effectively.”

Woman, 52

“I wasn’t sure what sort of therapy I wanted – or indeed if it was really right for me- when I approached Ruth – having experienced the trauma of bereavement and a painful split from a very long term partner. I just knew that I needed some external help, and she sounded like the right person from her website. I have to say it was one of the best decisions I ever made. Each session left me feeling more confident and grounded.

Ruth offered me a safe space in which to express myself, guidance in navigating my life and the challenges that I faced but I never felt directed. It also meant that I never felt dependent and when the time was right I was able to reduce my sessions naturally. I also feel that I can return when there are particular issues that I need external help with.

To this day I can’t tell you what sort of therapist Ruth is. All I can say is that for me, she is excellent at what she does, she made – and has continued to make – a huge difference to my life and changed my (and my friends!) views about therapy and what it can do for you.”

Man, 32

“I started sessions with Ruth to address self-confidence and anxiety issues I was having in both my professional and personal life.

Ruth’s sensitive and patient approach has enabled me to work through these problems and find practical solutions that have made a real difference to my daily life.

What’s more, when I moved abroad she was able to fit Skype sessions around my busy schedule. I cannot recommend Ruth highly enough.”

Woman, 28

“Ruth is really very special in the sense that she gives genuine therapy rather than following a set therapeutic theory and method.

I really liked her honest engagement and concern for my real development. Instead of it feeling like playing a set game, the experience was fluid and authentic.

I’m sure my own practice has been greatly improved by having Ruth as my therapist and I hope to be as good as she is one day.”

Woman, 33

‘I first worked with Ruth to help me navigate the complexity and fear of knowing a very close relative was dying. She supported me as I became a carer. And after, when I realised the extent of my loss.

It’s not an overstatement to say Ruth was my one constant through all of this. She helped me find the tools to cope. She also helped me make some sense of my thoughts and feelings.

Ruth gave me such a gift of feeling more grounded, through the work we did together. I’d recommend her in a heartbeat.”

Man, 52

“I came to see Ruth as I was having issues with my identity and my personal involvement in my family. As someone who had a tough time growing up, being bullied at school and also emotional bullying at home, as an adult, I realised I had harboured a lot of self-doubt.

Being able to talk about myself in a friendly and safe place with no judgements or criticism helped me gain my confidence and make some tough but ultimately beneficial decisions for who I am and how I wanted to live.

Ruth helped by listening and understanding my predicament, the sessions helped me uncover hidden truths about not only myself but also who my family are and some of the things they did that was no fault of my own. A journey of self-discovery!”

Woman, 27

“I worked with Ruth for around a year when I was dealing with the illness of a family member. Her kindness and warmth meant so much to me and our weekly sessions gave me the space and opportunity to think about myself instead of other people. It was important to me that someone understood what I was going through and Ruth did just that with a gentleness and encouragement that stays with me to this day.

By the end of our time together I had reached some clarity about what I wanted for the future and had the confidence to pursue it. She helped me to recognise and quell some of my self-criticism and untangle some complicated and painful family relationships. I am very grateful for the time we spent together.”

Man, 44

“I was ‘signed off’ from work due to stress when I first saw Ruth and felt so relieved to gain an objective view on my overall situation. Over the course of six months I was not only able to return to face ‘the music’, but I felt empowered to put my case well. We looked together at the possibility of more suitable employment for me, I regained my sense of self and was able to change jobs.

Looking back, it sounds simple, although it didn’t always feel so straightforward. But, I know now that my whole family has benefitted from the way in which Ruth gently, patiently and wisely guided me through times that seemed almost impossible and on into a more positive future; we are very grateful.”

Woman, 37

“I am a 37-year-old female living and working in London. I have been seeing Ruth to support me to manage my clinical depression, as well as specific matters such as my divorce, family and relationship problems. I find it easy to trust and open up with Ruth because she is a very intelligent, credible and experienced therapist and our sessions are a confidential and safe environment. Over the last year, I have faced a number of challenges, both relating to my current life – personal and professional – as well as traumatic events from childhood.

Due to Ruth’s breadth of experience and training, we are able to explore together this broad range of areas and different approaches to help me address and accept them. My sessions with Ruth really support me to gain insight into why I react to events in the way that I do and, importantly, help me see how I can change for the better my usual pattern of behaviours, in particular in relation to romantic relationships, relationships with my family, and my career.

We spend time reflecting on specific events in my life, big and small, to support me to achieve a healthier balance in how I view these, the result of which is I have developed much more positive self-esteem and self-confidence. Ruth is an interactive therapist and I have come to look forward to my sessions with her as I know I will walk away more aware of who I am and how to manage situations that arise in my life. One of the key aspects of our sessions which I specifically value is that we consider not only my past and present, but how I can work to promote and sustain my positive well-being now and in the future.”

Man, 28

“When I first came to Ruth my communication in both personal and working relationships was at an all-time low. I have always had an active mind but could never portray it into meaningful words.

My monthly meetings with Ruth have helped me so incredibly, not only with my communication but with my confidence surrounding it. The amount of friends and family that have noticed the change is unbelievable and I owe this to Ruth.

I always look forward to our sessions and would highly recommend Ruth to anyone that felt the same as me when I started 18 months ago.”

Woman, 38

“I was going through a difficult time emotionally and in my relationship. A friend recommended Ruth and I’ll always be grateful to my friend for the recommendation. Ruth is an excellent Counsellor who listens and is able to help you work through complex issues.

Ruth creates a trusting and safe environment which allows you to express feelings. She has helped me in so many ways such as feeling more positive about myself, my confidence and my relationship. Thank you, Ruth, for being there always.”

Man, 53

“To date, I’ve worked through two distinct and separate sets of issues with Ruth (11 sessions first of all, and then 7), and always found her to be calm, patient, sympathetic and insightful.

At all times I felt free to express exactly how I was feeling and what I was thinking; and Ruth gently guided me towards a healthier, more realistic perspective, and gave me the confidence to work out the right path ahead for me. I would recommend Ruth wholeheartedly.”

Woman, 37

“As a trainee psychotherapist, Ruth was the first psychotherapist I saw and she helped me steer my way through previously unchartered waters.

I always felt safe in her company and she helped my self-development enormously, giving me confidence to explore issues that I had previously ignored. I saw Ruth for 30 sessions and left a much more confident and self-aware individual.”

Woman, 47

“I am so grateful to Ruth for her compassion, understanding and wisdom. I used to worry about drivelling on about ‘first world problems’ and what she must think of me and others like me sometimes.

But, in the end, what mattered was that the sessions made me feel much better!”

Man, 39

“Ruth saw me through a very stressful period in my life. Her guidance taught me a lot about my work and family situations and how to make improvements in both areas.

She is easy to work with and I recovered my confidence as well as learning some useful techniques.”

Woman, 71

“I met Ruth during the most harrowing time of early widowhood. I had resisted the idea of counselling so it was in desperation that I finally contacted her. She responded promptly and because my time was pretty much my own, and my need by then fairly urgent, she was able to see me almost immediately. The importance of speedy action in such circumstances can scarcely be overestimated.

Ruth has a gentle, unassuming presence, which belies a quick and resolute practicality. She is not merely ‘a good listener’, she is an intelligent one. She chooses her words carefully; she is well-informed in relevant ways and applies her knowledge and experience with the utmost sensitivity.

The greatest help to me has been the quiet confidence she conveyed that I myself had sufficient resources and resolve both to withstand and eventually recover from the most traumatic time of my life.
I know that I can contact Ruth at any time and receive a sympathetic hearing and this in itself is sustaining.

More than anything I am immensely grateful for the part she has played in enabling me to lay the foundations for a new life of creative fulfilment and for that I thank her from the bottom of my heart.”

Woman, 35

“I can’t even remember how I came across Ruth, but I do know that I’m very glad that I did. It was at a turning point in my life journey and the support and encouragement she gave, and the insights that I gained, were invaluable. Thank You, Ruth!”

Man, 37

“Ruth has assisted me to gain greater insight into many aspects of my life, which has helped me to control various negative behaviours, including substance misuse.”

Man, 45

“Circumstances had pushed me to ‘rock bottom’ when I first saw Ruth and I could not see how things could possibly improve. Through these tough times, she helped me to begin to trust again – without being naïve – and to rebuild my confidence.”

Woman, 32

“I saw Ruth during a period of major life transition, when I was feeling lost, alone and insecure. I found her sessions to be incredibly helpful, she is a very kind and supportive listener.

She offered excellent advice and insight and was generally very validating of my experiences. I wouldn’t hesitate in turning to her again for support.”

Man, 49

“As a senior psychotherapist, I sought a psychologist with at least 2 decades of experience. Ruth Shelley impressed me with her warmth, sincerity and understanding.

She helped me work through some deep rooted psychological issues. Without reservation, I would recommend her practice.”

Man, 45

“I’m usually someone with drive and motivation, but this had deserted me. Ruth helped me to uncover the reasons and get myself back on track.

I am glad I contacted her; she is very skilled at what she does.”

Woman, 29

“I worked with Ruth over a number of months on a range of struggles I was having in relation to communication, conflict, and relationships. Ruth provided a relaxing, non-judgemental and safe space to talk openly. Our work together covered everything from sensitive matters that were difficult for me to talk about to lighter topics where I simply needed some support to process my thinking. Areas covered included family, sexuality, relationships and work.

Ruth operates with patience, calmness and professionalism, adapting her pace to the needs of the session. Ruth really supported me with how to better process and understand my feelings and communicate my needs, pulling on her deep experience in relationship work and non-violent communication techniques.

My work with Ruth helped me through a particularly challenging time in my life and has had a lasting positive impact on my relationships and quality of life. I am glad I connected with Ruth I would very much recommend her services.”

Woman, 50

“The sessions with Ruth provided a safe, trusting and accepting environment where I found it possible to explore topics freely, in a way I couldn’t do anywhere else.

Discovering unchartered areas was eye-opening and rewarding. Ruth’s non-judgmental approach and sensitive feedback helped me to gain new perspectives on previously strongly engrained thought patterns and unconscious beliefs.

For me, her calm and friendly manner are conducive to discuss topics without inhibition. Through my work with Ruth I gained unique insights, and I also found her recommendations of books and further reading very useful for my journey. Overall a highly positive, enriching experience.”

Woman, 39

“I first worked with Ruth through the NHS and I pestered her for her private work details when our sessions there were over because I didn’t want to see anyone else after working with her.

I’ve seen her privately now too, for a different problem. Even when the times are very tough I find it helpful just to speak out and most of the time there are things I can try to help myself when I go home.

I always feel better after seeing Ruth and I would recommend her to anyone who is struggling with their mental health.”

Woman, 39

“It was typical of me to have to be super prepared, but I wanted to make sure that old habits were ‘modified’, at the very least, so that I didn’t pass the worst of me onto my child!

I was surprised by how much sense there actually was in the old behaviours, once you really looked at it all, and relieved that there were more practical solutions than I had expected.

Ruth was always calm and reassuring, even when I was at my worst. She never seemed ‘phased’ and always came up with something to do.”

Woman, 40

“I have a great relationship with my partner of 18 months. Ruth saw me through some awful dates and bad times with a man who just wasn’t right for me.

If it wasn’t for her helping me to get out there and stop panicking, I might not be with the man who is now my fiancé. I honestly thought I could never have my own family and can’t thank Ruth enough for being by my side and guiding me through the turbulent times.”

Woman, 39

“Over the course of an extremely difficult and upsetting few years, Ruth provided me with unwavering, invaluable and effective support and guidance. She was the steadfast rock when I lost my footing in life.

It’s hard to sum up in a few lines how much I value and appreciate her work as a therapist, but I think it’s true to say that I wouldn’t be as happy where I am today without her.”

Woman, 36

“Ruth used a combination of CBT, life coaching and counselling to help me. I was quickly (3 sessions) able to reach conclusions that have put some personal issues into perspective and, as a result, I feel happier and more confident.

This was also helped by a selection of recommended reading which was well-suited to my needs and which I can continue with in my own time beyond the course of sessions.”

Woman, 40

“My long-term therapy with Ruth was alongside my University training in Counselling. It was a very unique experience in the sense that I was offered the flexibility of using the sand-tray art therapy whenever I felt comfortable with it. Initially I thought I would be having only a talking therapy – the most common way of dealing with pressing problems – but I was led by my curiosity towards the numerous figurines in the room (artefacts from all around the world) and I could not resist the temptation of testing out the dry and wet sand trays. The combination of talking and art therapy revealed a new world in front of me; my inner world.

It was a very powerful experience which I truly loved. The sand-tray approach enabled me to access other levels of my self – the parts that I was suppressing for various reasons. The emergence of forgotten, unresolved issues to conscious surface was so insightful. It deepened my understanding of who I am and how I function as a human and most of all it helped me to process emotional content that was kept hidden for years and burdening me without me realising it! Working on my self-awareness through Jungian symbolic art therapy felt like lighting up the shadowy corners of my Self, a deeper exploration of myself and personal growth.

This insightful therapy would have not been experienced without the warmth and gentle approach of Ruth. Her professionalism, empathic understanding, intellect and sense of humour created the safe space for me where I could trust her well enough to open up and work through my difficulties. Ruth has always been available and reliable throughout my two years of rigorous counselling training. I really appreciate her invaluable support.”

Woman, 34

“Ruth has a very gentle and lovely manner, and she’s full of empathy. She created a safe environment for me to talk through my issues, and helped me understand and accept the difficult feelings I was experiencing, and untangle some emotional knots.

I’m more assertive and confident now, and much better equipped at dealing with my emotions in a constructive and healthy manner.”

Woman, 34

“Ruth has been an invaluable part of my personal development after having my daughter. Ruth has very kindly and gently directed me towards realising and now achieving my goals.

Ruth has helped me to feel much more content and settled after moving to the UK 4 years ago. I would highly recommend Ruth to anyone who needs an excellent, kind and empathic listener.”

Man, 42

“I was surprised that I enjoyed my sessions with Ruth. She is wise and patient and talking about worrying issues with her was easier than I thought it would be!

This time helped me open up to myself and to others, to feel ‘authentic’ and to pursue new possibilities. I couldn’t recommend her more highly.”

Man, 52

“I felt very down and fragile at a bad time in my life. Ruth helped me deal with problems in personal life as well as a lack of confidence, and just generally struggling to cope with everyday things.

Ruth in her quiet and personable way helped me work through the worst of these issues. Ruth showed great concern and understanding which was very valuable to me at this particularly low point of my life.”

Woman, 34

“I started sessions with Ruth at a time when I felt lost and lacking confidence deciding how to move forward following the break-up of a long-term relationship

Ruth’s practical and supportive approach in my sessions helped me gain clarity on the challenges I was facing, understand myself better, and grow confidence to take forward steps.  I would recommend Ruth to anyone struggling and looking for some signposting and support”

Woman, 39

“I feel strong and stable and contented with my life and myself. I used to think my life wouldn’t be complete without a man/a husband and family, and couldn’t have imagined the things I have discovered about myself and what truly makes my life good.

I’m very grateful to Ruth for helping me to find myself and see ‘my own good sense’ (as she would say)!”

Woman, 37

“Following my mum’s sudden death I found I simply wasn’t coping. I was in free fall and didn’t know how to start processing what had happened or how to begin to move forward. Ruth supported me to build the net I needed to be caught by, as well as to begin processing my grief. I found her style very gentle and encouraging, and it felt easy to open up to her. We only worked together over a few months but she supported me to develop coping strategies which I have found helpful in the intervening years.

Two years later I found my life was on a path towards major change. While I was happy to be getting married, I would also be moving abroad which filled me with fear. Without hesitation, I returned to see Ruth. I knew she would be able to help me navigate a good course through these choppy seas. We worked together over a couple of months to develop a plan for my future life, and I gained a much-needed understanding of the root of my fears. The first time I worked with Ruth she helped me to build a life raft and stopped me drowning. The second time we created a sail, and now I can set my own direction. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend Ruth.

She is compassionate, a brilliant listener and incredibly insightful. Ruth supported me to develop coping strategies to get through a time of crisis. Before I met her I could not see a way out of the bleak place my mind was inhabiting. I worked with her again several years later, this time more proactively to get ahead of issues I could see coming my way. She helped me set a positive course through a time of considerable change, and I continue to use the skills she gave me on a regular basis to help me lead a very positive life. It is a world away from where I was when I first met her. I would not hesitate to recommend Ruth’s services.”

Woman, 33

“Ruth is a supportive and curious practitioner who gently facilitated my process during the two years I saw her. I worked with Ruth throughout my psychotherapy training and appreciated her acknowledgement of the balance between personal process and working through sessions as a student.

I particularly enjoyed having the opportunity to work with a sand tray in some of our sessions, and found our reflective discussions around this experience to be very beneficial.”

Woman, 37

“I first started sessions with Ruth almost 10 years ago and have done a mixture of longer periods of therapy initially, with shorter periods of sessions nowadays. I will be forever grateful for the help Ruth has given me.

Without fail, she has always been kind, thoughtful, amazingly perceptive and empathic. Her skill, expertise and ability to use a variety of techniques and adapt them to my particular circumstances has been ever so helpful. Thank you, Ruth!”

Man, 48

“Having 10 sessions with Ruth was a transformative experience for me. I have been understood and I understand myself now in ways I could not have imagined. Anger and fear were such a huge part of my formative years and, of course, they found a way into my adult life.

The puzzle that was me now fits together and I realise what I have done that has been worthwhile and seeing this has helped me to grow further and develop new skills.”

Man, 46

“After a traumatic parent’s death coinciding with other trauma I saw Ruth, having found her online. I will never forget our first meeting because after I explained everything she said she knew she could help and get me back on track.

The relief on hearing this I will never forget. Feeling heard and understood made a monumental difference to me that day. Sunshine had broken through the darkness.

And for that and the ensuing guidance and help I shall be eternally grateful, as I am now far stronger, better, more complete human being due to her help.”

Woman, 38

“Ruth I can’t thank you enough for what you have done for me. I’m truly grateful for how you’ve helped me turn my life around.

You have a fantastic ability to make me feel so comfortable around you, to the point where I feel I could tell you anything. I look forward to and enjoy every session.

I couldn’t recommend you highly enough. You are kind, generous and so helpful and flexible with your time. Keep doing what you are doing, you are amazing! Thank you so much.”

Man, 28

“I found Ruth’s details online whilst looking for help with my depression and anxiety, both of which I knew nothing about! 

I’m so glad I did and I can’t express in words just how much she changed my life by helping me through such a difficult period of 12 months or so.

The therapy and guidance I received during this time did not only allow me to get better, it taught me skills that I can use forever. I can highly recommend Ruth and have already done so to both family and friends.”

Woman, 27

“I started seeing Ruth in December 2014 at a time of real personal crisis. I was struggling to be able to hold down my demanding job as a secondary school teacher as a result of complicated family issues that were affecting my immediate ability to cope with maintaining healthy, positive relationships in all areas of my life.
I was originally incredibly resistant to the idea of counselling at all, as I had had such poor experiences previously, where counselling had left me feeling more vulnerable than when I arrived.
This could not have been more different from the moment I started my sessions with Ruth. Every session left me feeling more empowered to be an agent for change in my own life, even when I was confronting difficult emotions and complicated personal circumstances.

I intended originally to only see Ruth for six weeks; in the end, I saw her weekly for 6 months. This is not because I felt any pressure to book further appointments, but because the sessions became a vital part of my support system when the process of counselling revealed more deep-seated issues and past struggles with bouts of anxiety and depression.
Needless to say, almost two and a half years later, I feel more at peace than at any part of my life to date, and a large part of that is to do with the on-going support that Ruth gives me – whether an infrequent drop-in for a ‘mental health check-up’, or more regular sessions when life throws up its’ many challenges.

I don’t know what ‘form’ of counselling, coaching or therapy Ruth uses – all I know is that it works! I genuinely wish that all people who were struggling with the complicated world that we live in had someone as thoughtful, reflective and giving as Ruth as part of their system of support. I am certainly very grateful for the role she has played in supporting me to become the best version of myself (or close enough!).”

Woman, 47

“I have a history of anxiety and depression of the type where I’m existing and surving, moving forward and achieving in some ways, but not enjoying nor fulfilled for decades – since being a child.  Yes I have sought help, been proactive on my own initiative and through previous therapies/therapists. All helped – good steps but past, and still stuck.

I knew from the initial introduction meeting that Ruth was the person for me. I found Ruth welcoming, extremely experienced, safe, clearly and abundantly caring and dedicated to her clients, and professional.  Not at all judgemental -which is as it should be –and, rest assured, this is fact.

My point being, Personally, I particularly wanted, needed and received a two-way, interactive talking therapy experience.  Ruth also shared helpful references to explore outside of our meetings, which I did and, indeed, they were helpful to my situation.  Ruth was hugely supportive and encouraging which, for me at the place I was at and past life experiences, was, in addition to aforementioned, the best thing for me. I acknowledge Ruth used her intuition, experience and qualified experience, to focus on what I needed the most.  I’m doing good; continue to help myself, have recommended Ruth and wouldn’t hesitate to revisit.”

Woman, 37

“Ruth provided support to me after having my first child.  She carefully balanced listening and guiding me to potential resources that would speed up my recovery. 

She pays attention to small details and I always leave feeling empowered to overcome challenges.”

Woman, 33

“I was able to bring my baby with me to sessions, for which I was hugely grateful and I was quickly able to trust because it felt safe and natural.

I wasn’t at all prepared for the mind fog and awful feelings and I’m so grateful to Ruth for gently guiding my thoughts and feelings back along constructive lines.”

Woman, 39

“Ruth is supportive and empathetic as a therapist and as a supervisor. Her calm nature helped me to feel safe and encouraged me to open up without feeling judged. 

Ruth helped me to develop understanding and more awareness in my strengths and weaknesses. I would recommend Ruth as a therapist and as a supervisor.”

Man, 29

“Working with Ruth gave me the avenue I needed to be able to talk through and navigate some of the issues I was facing with my mental health, in such a profound way. 

She gave me the space to speak out loud what was going on in my head, exploring my past, present, and future experiences. I never once felt she was judging, or making assumptions, but instead offering small bits of guidance that would help me find the solutions and answers myself. This approach gave me the tools to be able to leave her and confront the issues if they arise again by myself.

Beyond the actual sessions though, just knowing I could go and see Ruth if needed, that she was there and easy to contact, made the tackling of my issues so much more achievable, as she seemed to offer a safety net of incredible support.  I absolutely loved our sessions together, and even knowing I can go back to see Ruth if I need in the future is so comforting in allowing me to go on living my life without worrying about my mental health becoming a solitary issue I fight on my own.”

Woman, 27

“I suffer from anxiety and occasional depression, and came to see Ruth despite having no appointment, when I was really struggling. Ruth sat with me for half an hour in between appointments, listened to how I was feeling and recommended some people that could help.

After learning about and practicing tapping therapy from a colleague, I began therapy sessions with Ruth. We spoke about the ‘fear system’ and I learnt many things about anxiety that I will always remember to help myself navigate through the ups and downs of life. Our discussions helped me understand myself more and helped me to change small things in day to day life that created a much calmer way of living. I learnt to trust myself and make decisions calmly and confidently. 

Overall, Ruth has a wonderful way of altering negative patterns of thinking, helping you to see them in a more positive light, which greatly helped me to trust my instincts and become less overwhelmed with big decisions. This went hand in hand with reducing my levels of anxiety and being able to cope better with anxious periods.”

Who Is Ruth?

Now you have heard what others have to say, find out more about Ruth.

‘Today you are you. That is truer than true! There is no-one alive who is you’er than you’

Dr Seus